One of the best episodes of the series Utopia is on ‘The Safety Guy’. It’s pretty clear the producers know exactly how the public service and Safety ‘work’. Yes, it’s satire but satire is most effective when it’s close to the truth.

In this episode we have an office in a Commonwealth Department due for another ‘safety audit’ from Dennis. The skit starts by describing the outcome of ther last audit, ‘a large folder that no-one has ever read’. Why, another one. You guessed it, ‘it’s a legal requirement’.

When Dennis walks in, he has the swagger, clipboard and anecdote for every petty risk in the office. Then we go to the kitchen where the toaster no longer works, because Dennis has ‘red flagged’ it. You mustn’t forget This Toaster is Hot (https://safetyrisk.net/toaster-is-hot/). One would think this was not close to the truth but with zero vision on the loose, every petty risk must be controlled. Of course, once Dennis has been on site no-ne can use the kitchen any more.

True story: I was once doing some work for a council in NSW who had banned canned foods for lunch because people could cut themselves on the opened can. It seems the gift of bizarre imagination is the first skill of the safety advisor.

Next scene, another anecdote and pretty soon, everyone in the office is repeating the anecdotes as if they are a justification for hyper-safety (https://safetyrisk.net/the-horrors-of-hyper-safety/.

One of the best scenes is Dennis teaching staff what to do in case of an incident, and asks the question: ‘what do you do?’ Answer: ‘Call an ambulance’, ‘check for vital signs’, ‘check if they’re breathing’. No, says Dennis, ‘create an incident report’. Then, ‘what if they are injured and need medical assistance?’ Of course, create a new file, a medical report. The indifference of Dennis to people is classic. It’s all about objects, which is why this is so funny.

Next scene Dennis tells of his audit observations to the office Manager: slips, trips and falls and sharp edges on a pot plant. And yes, more anecdotes. Then the cup of tea comes to the office Manager cold, yes, hot water is a big risk.

Dennis closes the scene presenting his risk register to the office Manager with a document that is 10 cms thick.

Unfortunately, the satire is close to reality as we saw from Garry Gob Shite recently (https://safetyrisk.net/the-many-faces-of-safety/). And we know why. There is nothing in the safety curriculum (https://safetyrisk.net/isnt-it-time-we-reformed-the-whs-curriculum/) that is even remotely relevant to undertaking the role of safety advisor. The safety curriculum has no focus on persons, the nature of risk or people engagement. No wonder people leave the industry in droves (https://safetyrisk.net/ohs-voices-from-the-resistance-rosa-carrillo/). And yes, can you imagine the next review? Like last time, it will be undertaken by a safety engineer.

However, there is a positive, practical and better way to learn about how to tackle risk. There are plenty of resources and curriculum to get you started including, two free modules on: An Introduction to SPoR (https://safetyrisk.net/introduction-to-the-social-psychology-of-risk-free-online-module/ ) and Due Diligence (with Greg Smith).

Other free resources in SPoR are available here: https://www.humandymensions.com/shop/ including audio books and videos here: https://vimeo.com/cllr

Or, if you want to join us at the SPoR Convention in Canberra in September you are welcome: https://spor.com.au/spor-convention-2025/

If you engage in SPoR, you don’t get a collection of slogans or thought bubbles, but clear practical methods that work (https://www.humandymensions.com/product/it-works-a-new-approach-to-risk-and-safety-book-for-free-download/).