Before leaving for Egypt, I have covered the factory walls with motivational safety slogans.

Everyone knows that Safety never takes a holiday.

I do, obviously. There are limits to personal commitment.

My other guiding principle is that culture is what people do when Barry isn’t watching.

Naturally, I have arranged to keep watching.

Please display these reminders prominently:

1. MY LEAVE IS APPROVED. YOUR FREEDOM IS STILL UNDER REVIEW.
2. SAFETY NEVER TAKES A HOLIDAY. IT JUST MONITORS YOU FROM THE POOL.
3. CULTURE IS WHAT YOU DO WHEN BARRY ISN’T WATCHING. PLEASE KEEP THE CAMERA LENS CLEAN.
4. THINK FOR YOURSELF. I’VE LEFT DETAILED INSTRUCTIONS.
5. ENJOY MY ABSENCE RESPONSIBLY.
6. IF MORALE IMPROVES WHILE I’M AWAY, INVESTIGATE IMMEDIATELY.
7. YOU ARE TRUSTED TO WORK UNSUPERVISED. SUBMIT PHOTOGRAPHIC EVIDENCE BY FOUR.
8. LEADERSHIP HAS LEFT THE BUILDING. THE POSTERS HAVE ASSUMED COMMAND.
9. NO BARRY? NO WORRIES? NONCONFORMANCE.
10. I’M VISITING ANCIENT MONUMENTS. PLEASE DON’T MODERNISE MINE.
11. INITIATIVE IS WELCOME. START BY FINDING THE PROCEDURE THAT PROHIBITS IT.
12. EVERYONE HAS A VOICE. THE APPROVED WORDS ARE ON THE WALL.
13. IF THE GUARD IS STILL BROKEN, READ THE POSTER WITH GREATER COMMITMENT.
14. EGYPT HAS ITS PYRAMIDS. YOU HAVE HEINRICH’S. NO EXCAVATING THE ASSUMPTIONS.
15. PLEASE DON’T FIX EVERYTHING. I NEED A PURPOSE WHEN I RETURN.
16. MY OUT-OF-OFFICE IS AUTOMATIC. YOUR OBEDIENCE SHOULD BE TOO.
17. REPORT ALL INCIDENTS PROMPTLY. REPORT SUCCESS WITHOUT ME DISCREETLY.
18. INDEPENDENT THOUGHT MUST REMAIN WITHIN THE DESIGNATED WALKWAY.
19. REMEMBER: YOU’RE ONLY ONE GOOD DECISION AWAY FROM PROVING ME UNNECESSARY.
20. IF NOTHING GOES WRONG WHILE I’M AWAY, THANK THE POSTERS.

Kevin sent me an article called Safety, The Pathway to Surveillance Culture.

Excellent title. I’ve asked Sadie to put it on the monitoring dashboard.

He also suggested rereading the account of what happened after my previous cruise.

I declined. Holiday reading should be relaxing.

Kevin has volunteered to laminate my boarding pass.

I have never seen him so committed to a safety initiative.