By Frank Garrett

In corporate settings, this time of year can be unsettling, annual performance reviews where Quotas and targets are tracked, measured, evaluated. Judgements like; below, meets, above or exceeds expectations are thrown around, 360 reviews are conducted, milestones and measures against others are the important language of the day.

Claims frequency, claims to revenue, collisions per million miles, frequency, severity and a ton of related acronyms are paraded around, on time delivery, outage lengths, project budgets, down time, customer feedback reviews are all quoted to impress upon us the gravity of performance measures and the impact on all things business.

Yes, there is an inherent desire to improve ourselves, as humans we are social creatures who are quietly addicted to validation of our improvement, constantly seeking that gold star or the next title, role, raise or bonus. But what does this box we perform in cost?

Do we wear a mask to fit in, do we hide behind that badge of honor based on what we produce, our Performance vs our performance?

We know humans have mirror neurons in our prefrontal cortex that cause us to mirror those around us, this is a survival technique as ancient as humanity itself. We are hard wired to survive and as social creatures our survival depends on fitting in. Do we get lost in this Performance, do we lose sight of who we are because the world recognises and celebrates the version of us that is most useful to it?

I recall that existential crisis in mid-management that taking time off would mean someone else would become the go to person, I was led to believe that illusion of control, if I took time off, I could stay connected and if things really went “south” I would be involved, I would have answers.  Because my boss was always available and expected answers, so my performance was shaped to fit that expectation. My Performance, a quiet slavery supported by insecurity and my next performance review.

When thinking about Performance and the language associated with it to write this piece, my thoughts went right to the deception and the hiding of who we really are. It seems easier to come up with the negative aspects in a language audit than the positives, so I had to check myself and ask what are the benefits when we put our heart and soul into a Performance? Can this be liberating, is there freedom and the surfacing of our authentic self in this Performance? Are you that corporate type who gets lost in the role to feel fulfilled, we know there are many different personality types that thrive in different environments.

In Rosa Carrillo’s book OHS Voices From The Resistance,  Safety practitioner’s explain their journey and the slow erosion of who they are; sharing that their curated Performance keeps them employed trading their hearts & soul to pay the bills and providing for our loved ones.

Maybe you haven’t lost your authentic self in that character you Perform day to day, and just maybe your Performance will be revealed and rewarded in the measurement of your performance review. But when we take the time to reflect on a few simple questions like, who am I really? Why do I want, what I want? Who benefits from my choices? Maybe we can gain some clarity beyond meets or exceeds expectations, because lying on our deathbed bragging “I was on call 24/7 for 15 years” may not be the lasting legacy we hoped for!